It’s been a day, so 99% of the geek population has already binged on Jessica Jones on Netflix. If you’re not aware of the new Netflix exclusive series, Jessica Jones, that falls in line with Netflix’s original Daredevil series, then you likely won’t see this post as you probably live somewhere with no internet.

Back to Jessica Jones…I have to say that I can count myself in the 1% that hasn’t binged on the entire series. I’d like to say, “yet,” but I actually only watched the first episode, and that seemed like enough for me. It’s not that I don’t like Jessica/Jewel—to be honest, I know very little about her overall, and I never paid much attention to Alias—but for someone suffering from PTSD, it’s a show that’s a little too real for me.

I know how ridiculous that just sounded. Take a moment; get your judgment out now.

No, I was never a superhero with flight or super strength (or laser eye beams). No, I was never a private detective. No, I can’t lift the back of a car while serving a subpoena. And, no, I’ve never been in a war zone (in the traditional sense), but I was a young, damaged woman living in New York City, who dated a bartender, and who self-medicated with alcohol and pharmaceuticals in an attempt to make my nightmares go away. No, my nightmares weren’t associated with being mind controlled by a character whose name in the comic is “The Purple Man,” but the nightmares were just as real to me as they are to Jessica.

I’ve grown a lot since those days. I’m no longer a young twenty-something, living in a pre-war hellhole in pre-gentrified South Williamsburg. Although years have passed, the nightmares haven’t gone away; but, the monsters are (mostly) kept at bay. I’ve been sober for more than six years now, and I’ve surrounded myself with a supportive group of friends, both in person and online, who help me keep me sane.

But watching Jessica self-sabotage and isolate herself is too much for me to witness right now. Yes, I know I said that the monsters are (mostly) kept at bay, but anyone who has ever had the experiences I have had knows that any power you give the monster wakes it up.  Despite being in a cage, it can still make a ton of noise and disrupt your life.

Okay, enough with the cryptic metaphors.

I also have my gripes with the typical “Hollywood” version of New York City that Daredevil also perpetuated. Hell’s Kitchen is NOT that big or that gritty anymore, and there are WAY more gay bars in real life than on either show.

Maybe I’ll end up watching the entire series some day. Right now, it’s not in the cards. If I had my druthers though, I still would have preferred a Daughters of the Dragon series to Jessica Jones (no offense, Jess), simply because Misty Knight is AWESOME, and you could STILL do the detective agency thing with her and Colleen Wing. It’d STILL fit in with Iron Fist and Luke Cage through Heroes for Hire. So, yeah. That would’ve been my wish.

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