…I received some really good news. Those who knew of my situation were told the news, but the vast majority of people weren’t. We live in a culture right now where misery loves company on social media. Posting good news can be perceived as naïve and idealistic. “Sure, you post good news, but then that just means you’re not acknowledging all the atrocities of the world!” That’s why I didn’t say anything, and it really bothered me that I was afraid posting it would be akin to kicking a hornet’s nest.
I wouldn’t consider myself a private person, per se, but I try not to air everything personal about me on social media. I know that not everything I post revolves around me, and therefore, by putting things out there, I could be negatively affecting others.
I acknowledge that I HAVE made posts that involved others and have negatively affected them, and I am truly and sincerely sorry for that. We get caught up in something that we may think is funny, and the idea of “gotta get those RTs” can be intoxicating. I think that’s the purpose of social media, to a certain extent, but that’s another post for another time.
The good news that I got this past Friday was that the two tumors growing inside me, the ones that were removed during surgery two weeks ago, were benign. One of these tumors began to grow in February, when I noticed several changes in my body. It was all confirmed in April/May when I had an ultrasound done. There were weeks when I had a doctor’s appointment every day, being poked, prodded, and having blood taken. It’s been a very long and stressful road for my family and I, but I hope it’s finally over. I guess we’ll see when the insurance bill comes in.
I’m not saying this to toot my own horn. I’m posting it because I was afraid not to post it, and I don’t think decisions should be guided by fear. I’m not saying it for sympathy or congratulations. If anything, I’m kind of pissed that my body created these things to begin with, but that’s neither here nor there. I also acknowledge that, right now, thousands of people aren’t getting the good news that I got, and I truly feel for them. Cancer has set up a fortress in my genes, with several family members having multiple diagnoses.
An upside to this entire situation is that I have a new perspective. I’ve long had misanthropic tendencies and focused on the bad in the world. Part of that is a product of my upbringing. Part of that is a product of my generation. But ALL of that is me. And right now, I’m going to try and be a better me.
I will try (and likely fail, but try again) to be positive…to spread smiles instead of Schadenfreude. I will try to use my platform to give joy instead of adding to the endless cycle of hate and anger. I will try to forgive and be worthy of forgiveness. And if that means nothing but cute animal photos, then so be it.
It’s not new, but this world is filled with so much anger in the world and not enough penance. There’s so much hate and not enough forgiveness. And forgiveness isn’t easy. In fact, it’s likely the most difficult thing humans can do. But to play off a previous post I had:
The Bad News is…There are a lot of garbage people in this world.
The Good News is…Everyone, even people who have been garbage, have the capacity to do good things and be a good person.
I have been hurt by many people. Some I have forgiven. Others, I haven’t found it in me to forgive them, but I am trying.
I have also hurt many people through my words and actions. Some I have made amends with. Others I haven’t. To those I have been able to make amends, some have forgiven me. Others have not. To those who haven’t given me their forgiveness, I can only try to be a better person so as to not make the same mistakes. To those who have, I thank you. I hope to extend the same grace to others.
No one is perfect, but people DO have the capacity to be good and to learn from their mistakes. The defeatist attitude that I see so often online diminishes the transformation of people like Christian Picciolini and others who have fundamentally changed their lives.
I think if we all just try to be a better person, the world can ultimately be a better place.
Now…here’s a cat photo!