I don’t have a studio. I have a small office I share with my husband, and it’s mostly taken up by shelves filled with his collection of G1 Transformers, but I digress.
Have you ever seen that show Inside the Actor’s Studio? I don’t have cable anymore, so I don’t know if Bravo still runs it, but I used to LOVE watching that show. I was never one to follow celebrities, but I do find it interesting to see how different their processes are and how they came to acting in different ways.
To wrap up every show, there was a questionnaire that the host, James Lipton, would use. They were 10 questions that were originally used on a show called Bouillon de Culture that ran in France. The series host there was Bernard Pivot. Now, I’m hazy on whether or not Pivot himself WROTE this questionnaire or not, but it is attributed to him.
Anyway, I always thought about what my answers would be to these questions, so I decided to look them up and grace you with my answers.
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, emotionally?
Fun fact: The actor who voiced Eeyore also voices Optimus Prime. Anywho…What turns me on? I’d say Chris Evan’s shoulders, but aside from that, riding the subway and watching people is interesting to me. When I lived in Brooklyn and couldn’t sleep, I’d get up and ride the subways all night just to people watch. It was inspiring in a weird way to see who was going to work and who was hiding from their exes. I guess real life turns me on…But not to be confused with reality TV, because we know that shit’s all fake.
What turns you off?
The current president. Reality TV. What also turns me off, James (I’m really getting into this, I know), is the proliferation of shaming on social media and the lack of nuance and context. The second someone says something that’s perceived as being “wrong,” there’s a pile on. People talk of compassion and empathy, but don’t afford it to everyone. I believe we’ve gotten to a point in this world, especially in the U.S. where there’s insensitivity and hyper-sensitivity. I do believe there are assholes who say insensitive things and do so because they’re assholes. I also believe there are people who analyze and hyper-analyze statements, actions, etc. to stir divisiveness. So not giving people the benefit of the doubt is a turn off. Having been in a 12 step program, forgiveness and making amends is something that is very important to me. I don’t believe there’s enough forgiveness in the world.
What is your favorite curse word?
If I had to boil it down to one word, it’d be, “Fuck,” but since this is MY dream, I’ll tell you what my favorite curse phrase is. It’s, “Shitsticks and motherfuckers!” I drop something on the floor? “Shitsticks and motherfuckers!” I stub my toe? “Shitsticks and motherfuckers!” I cry out in jubilation? “Shitsticks and motherfuckers!”
What sound or noise do you love?
I love the sound of my cat, Simon, purring. I also love the sound of him snoring. It sounds like small kazoos playing.
What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of my dining room chandelier clanking because the demon toddler who lives upstairs has decided to imitate a herd of elephants escaping a herd of approaching T-Rexes.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Well, I TRIED to be in the Navy, but I got rejected due to medical reasons. I had always wanted to be in the military and/or law enforcement, but, again, medical reasons always kept me out of those fields. If medical issues weren’t a problem, then I’d love to do my part. I’m the daughter and granddaughter of combat veterans. If medical issues are still a problem, then I don’t really know. Being a writer, I’m doing what I’d want to be doing in the first place.
What profession other than your own would you not like to attempt?
Stay at home mom.
Finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I could say something smart assy here, but, seeing as I’m actually a big believer in the G-O-D, I’ll take this seriously. I’d want St. Peter, or whomever the bouncer is, to drop the velvet rope, welcome me in, and say, “There was never a doubt.”